Category Archives: Ice Cream

Little Johnny Wants Some Ice Cream and a Dougie Dance

Jan 7

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Ok. So the lead photo above DOESN’T have anything to do with this blog BUT, in the past 3 days, it’s been on approximately 4,892,345 blogs and websites.  Nice that everyone is giving this guy stuff and jobs.

 By the way, did ya get a REALLY good look at his signNot many things left for the media hounds to use to exploit this guy’s situation other than maybe making him do HIS version of the “Dougie Dance” (pronounced DUGGIE Dance).

  • To watch a Dougie Dance Demonstration click here
  • Now watch John Hall from the Washington Wizards do it by clicking here. 
  • Now watch Barbara Walters try the Dougie, here. 

Meantime, I have stuff to deal with like takin’ down my Christmas tree.  Yep, a REAL one that the family THINKS I’ve been watering for the last 2 weeks.  I try so hard to get the tree into a needle-catching plastic bag that I knock all the needles off BEFORE I get it in the bag.  So I basically end up putting a bare trunk and branches into the “SOAPWORD” bag and picking pine needles out of the balls of my feet clear into August.

So here’s what I did:

Once my kids got home from school today, I turned on some music and started the Little Johnny version of the Dougie Dance. Hmmm Hmm GIRLFRIEND!  My son instantly ran to the kitchen to find a spoon to jam into my mouth so that I “wouldn’t swallow my tongue” cuz he thought I was having a seizure.  My daughter ran to find some splints cuz she thought that my spine fell out of my body and my hips tore away from my pelvis!! Key point?  They both told me to lie down and rest while they took down the Christmas decorations!!! Saweeeeeeeeeeet!!! (God! I thought I raised them to be smarter!)

Here’s a joke SUPPOSEDLY about ME comin’ home from school one day:

One day after school, Little Johnny invades the fridge and is scooping out some cherry vanilla ice cream when his mother enters the kitchen.   She says, “Put that away Johnny. You can’t have ice cream now. It’s too close to supper time. Go outside and play.”
 
Little Johnny whimpers and says, “There’s no one to play with.”
 
Trying to placate him, she says, “Okay, I’ll play with you. What do you want to play?”
He says, “I wanna play Mommy and Daddy.”
 
She appeases him, and says, “Fine, what do I do?”
Little Johnny says, “You go up to the bedroom and lie down.”
Figuring that she can easily control the situation, Mom goes upstairs.
 
Little Johnny, feeling a bit cocky, swaggers down the hall and opens the utility closet. He dons his fathers’ old fishing hat. As he starts up the stairs, he notices a cigarette butt in the ashtray on the end table and slips it in the corner of his mouth. He moves to the bedroom doorway.
His mother looks up and says, “What do I do now?”
 
In a gruff manner, Little Johnny says, “Get your “SOAPWORD” downstairs and get that kid some ice cream!”

First, you KNOW that you THOUGHT this joke was gonna end up with Little Johnny having sex with his mother.  That makes you a SICKER son-of-a-“SOAPWORD” then ME!!! 

Ice cream wasn’t my thing after school but dunkin’ 2 or 3 rows of Oreos in a mug of whole fat milk WAS.   And, IF I would’ve tried to act like my dad with my mom, it would’ve gone like this:

DAD:  “Get your “SOAPWORD” downstairs and get that kid some ice cream!”

MOM:  WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

DAD:  “I said I’m gonna go beat that kid’s “SOAPWORD” to make sure he KNOWS you don’t want him to have any ice cream.

See ya next Friday!!

Little Johnny Joke From : http://www.harryc.com/jokes11-little-johnny.htm

Posted in Ice Cream, The Dougie Dance

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